What are you wearing?


Every day we wake up we are faced with two questions: What are you going to eat? What am I going to wear? For those of you who are obsessed, or disciplined enough to lay out your clothes night before, you might not have that problem. For those of you who love your clothes more than your pet, or for those of you who change your shirt at least twice a day, you probably have tons of clothes. 


The BIG question though is what are you wearing? It is easy to dress appropriately for work, and for those of you who have a uniform at work, it’s even easier. But, when it comes to going out to the clubs and the bars, everyone seems to be a hit or miss. Ironically, men’s fashion has skyrocketed over the past five years, so I wonder how people are missing the mark?


The problem with fashion and style is that everyone thinks it is a way of self expression. That there are no rules, and you should dress however you feel comfortable, or how you express yourself. Unfortunately, that is not true at all. Since the beginning of time, and since the modernization of the fashion industry, trends, fads, and fashion have been the divider of social classes. Now, fashion’s evolution has taken the world of night life by storm, and has created an entire subculture of fashion: NIGHTLIFE. For the gays of the 90’s it might have been all about those mesh tops, and for those who grew up as a club kid in the 80’s androgyny and make up was the way to go, and for those of us who are going out now.... The standard has been raised to a level of understanding of class, chicness, and sophistication.


Breaking it down for men in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.


Men in their 20’s think they know fashion, and fortunately it is okay for the average 20 year old to look a hot mess when going out. If you are in your early twenties and are a starving college student, we don’t expect you to dress in designer clothes. But, regardless of your body... Should you really be sporting a shirt that is too small, too tight, and have your belly showing? Secondly, should you really be sporting fake jewelry and knock off designers? I don’t think so, but I could be wrong. 


You would think that in your 30’s you would have learned better. After all of the dates you have been on, and how many bars and clubs you have gone to, you should know what is appropriate by now. So, why do men in their thirties throw it all away? At thirty you should be sporting button up shirts that fit to perfection, jeans than don’t have holes, or you have been walking on the hems. You should be carrying a real man’s wallet by now, and should feel comfortable in your skin.


Still hitting the bars and clubs at 40? A blazer is kind of mandatory now. At 40, if you are still living it up George Clooney style, then at least have that cool bachelor style. If you are sporting tennis shoes, and screen tee shirts, get the hell out. You have no business being out and about in that. You don’t have to wear a button up, but a polo wouldn’t kill you. Would it?


(Men in their 20's, Men in their 40's, Men in their 30's)


If you can raise your arms and your belly button shows... your shirt is too small.

If your buttons are pulling against each other your shirt is too tight.. and most likely you look like a sausage about to break out of it’s casing.

If your shoes are dirty... clean them.

If your pant hems have been walked on and are shredding apart... go buy new ones that fit properly.

If you don’t carry a wallet, get one. It is tacky to be pulling out wads of wrinkled money.. You look like a stripper.

If you are wearing a vest without a shirt, go put on one.

If you are sporting plastic jewelry of any sorts, take that shit off and throw it away.

If you are wearing a screen tee shirt to go out to a bar or club, take it off and go put something else on.

If you wearing an ED HARDY button up, take that rhinestone crap off and throw it away.  1999 called and wants their shirt back. It is the same thing as a girl wearing Juicy Couture to the club.


Think we are being harsh?

If you are going to the bar/club to have a drink and relax, you should at least be presentable, or do it in the privacy of your own home. If you are going to a bar to be social, to meet people, or even to hook up... Look nice! It helps! If you are going to the bar with your friends to have a good time, and maybe will become a drunk hot mess, at least look well dressed. People won’t judge you as harshly being a drunk mess if you are well dressed...